the question most often

i thought i ought tackle this one early in the life of this virtual soapboxing. from old friends to new acquaintances, ex-partners, random internet friends, et. al.--one question keeps being repeated often. "so why do you care about this stuff anyways... especially that stuff over there. shouldn't you just leave them alone...or work in your country, etc. etc. etc." well, you get the idea. the words change from time to time, but the curiosity or outright animosity remain fairly constant. i never cease to be surprised by the question... or by the answers that have been evolving over the course of the years.

odd that i still feel the need to justify myself, my intentions, and my passions to help those who don't have a life as easy as this one here. now i do understand that there are several issues on these shores that need attention and fighters with conviction. [in fact, i am sure i shall devote a fair amount of space to such issues and attempts at solutions in future blogs.] but the stirrings in my soul have always been aimed at people and places distant; why should i deny the connection my spirit feels or the calling my heart hears??

mayhap i do care more for palestinians, ugandans, south africans, vietnamese, and iranians because they have had to deal directly or indirectly with our american imperialism and expansionism... or shady, back door interferences via cia, such angels...

mayhap because i learned of the dirty dealings of u.s. pharmaceutical companies-- companies that sought to control all flow of anti-AIDS drugs in Africa to "profit at all costs" by refusing generics or low cost alternatives to be imported this past decade...

mayhap i am in some small way trying to pay penance for the rest of my country's arrogance or ignorance of the global suffering...

mayhap, i am drawn to work with UN humanitarian aid missions in war zones because there aren't enough people willing to die, that starving babies might have a chance to live...

mayhap, because i have faced a grim and disabling chronic illness in this country, and saw how very expendable, [insignificant, unworthy, second-class citizen] i and so many others are and have been in this, our "own" country.

mayhap, because so many of my dear loved ones have paid the price for living [and dying] in america- succuming to cancers, AIDS, mental terrors, scars and demons of war, drug addictions, the innate violence of neo-liberal urban planning. {{so few from that generation, that incarnation left}}

maybe i just see american issues as failings of a system that has far too much but refuses to share the wealth with its own people... profit over the people! come buy, america, make us strong!!

mayhap because i do believe in an america that can change... to this end i hope to learn from so many teachers in other lands- new visions, new ideas, new thoughts, new perspectives. isn't it a grand new day?

utimately the answer is that i am still understanding and learning the questions; the answers will take far more time. while this world keeps turing, may others come to start speaking, painting, drawing, calling, improv'ing, art-quaking, singing, dreaming, story weaving-- with this new collective voice might we summon a new dawn of [wo]man, world, and future. :)